Monday, 13 July 2015

When It Finally hits.....Hard!

So the truth is out, its official, I'm no longer single........
Went out for dinner with the girls on Sunday night, had a few much needed cocktails, went to the Cinema to see Magic Mike XXL (which was shite btw, apart from the fact Channing Tatum was in it, bit of 'Man Candy'! Yum!!) & all we did was laugh the entire way through, at things completely unrelated to the film! So back to the story......there he was, just sitting there innocently, so I went in for the kill......
He doesn't say much......just the way I like it!
I can visualise the heading now; "Leah Shevlin Moves On With Puppet"....since they don't understand the concept of a 'Joke' or 'sarcasm' or 'sense of f*cking humour'! I could do with a puppet actually!

This week, I've spent my time moping about the house in a state of sheer devastation, wearing my Wedding dress (my extremely impressive wedding dress, may I add) teamed with a pair of very alluring rubber gloves (sexual) whilst doing my domestic chores & swigging on Pornstar Martini's (my ultimate favourite cocktail) as I sing Mariah Carey songs with black mascara running down my face......Mariah Carey has that affect on people I think!
On a serious note, I will have to find a place for that bloody Wedding dress at some point.....Ooooooooooooooooh I tell you what I could do, sell it on f*cking eBay!!!!!!!!
Please await the £10K listing & the shitty story is the newspaper!
Seriously though, this week has in fact been absolutely gruelling!!!!!
I left Glasgow & drove down to Hull to pack up everything that belonged to myself & Noelle from the family home we lived in there.....& a beautiful family home it was, full of fond memories & happiness. I've obviously been in shock because it took for me to walk into that house & see everything just as we'd left it, before going on holiday to Dubai, for the realisation of the current situation to actually hit me....& it hit me like a tonne of bricks! 
The part that hurt the most was seeing Noelle's beautiful playroom just as she'd left it, awaiting her happy honestly broke my heart & I stood paralysed in the doorway & found myself crying for the 1st time, I am not ashamed to admit that I cried, although, it isn't actually like me to do it, very rarely do I cry (& that's the last time we'll mention crying)
So, I collected myself & got on with it! Spent that entire day, all through the night & the following day packing, then when everything was loaded up onto the removal van & on its way back to Glasgow, I set off on my tiring 4 hour drive back again without having slept for 2 days! I got home late on Thursday night, had a few hours sleep then spent Friday & Saturday unpacking everything & putting it all it's safe to say I am physically exhausted & mentally drained but it's done now & I can at least tick it off the 'To Do' list & get on with other things equally as important.
Explaining this awful situation to my 3 year old daughter is an ongoing & difficult task though & my heart breaks for her. I won't go into anymore detail about the situation as it is a private matter that should have remained a private matter instead of utter made up nonsense being plastered across the front pages of newspapers! Just to clarify, there was no massive argument that resulted in the wedding not going ahead, no argument what so ever. We have never had a volatile relationship, despite what has been insinuated.....but hey, the reporters must no better than me about my own relationship, maybe they were hiding in the wardrobes or under the beds in our hotel suite, they seem to enjoy playing hide'n'seek after all......

On the subject of newspapers.......they were at it again this week & I must honestly say, it is getting absolutely, ridiculously out of hand now to the point where I feel violated! Stalking springs to mind!!! There is no way on this earth it is justifiable for a reporter & photographer to hide outside a restaurant & await an unsuspecting family emerging after a meal, in order to take pictures of us without our prior consent, knowledge or permission & write a non-entity story about us, using quotes from an observing onlooker/stranger within the restaurant. Safe to say we won't be dining there again which is a pity because it's handy. The worst part about this pathetic article in question, is the fact that the picture printed had my daughter in it & although her face was not visible, I cannot fathom how it can possibly be deemed acceptable to take pictures of us & print them in a national newspaper when we have been extremely adamant from day 1 that our daughter should not & will not be shown in any newspaper.
As a loving & devoted parent, it is my duty to protect my innocent child. She relies on me solely to protect her from any harm & when that right is taken away from me, my daughters wellbeing is put in jeopardy & I WILL NOT condone that. I am wondering how these reporters & photographers would feel if the tables were turned & they were in fact put in a position where their families privacy was violated?????

It is safe to say that I'm not my usual laughing, joking self this week. There has been a lot of unpleasant & upsetting realisations to contend with. Life is extremely difficult at times & it takes strength & determination to overcome the stress & hurt......but if anyone can, I can!
Onwards & Upwards!
But just to fill you in on my sense of humour (just so you know for future reference) I do enjoy a right good belly laugh....what can cheer you up more than uncontrollable laughter, lets be honest!
I'm quite a fan of the program The Undateable's, not because I'm laughing at the people on the program, quite the contrary (I'm the person pretending I'm not blubbering away because I'm just so desperate for them to meet their special someone & have the happiness they crave & most definitely deserve!) I do adore the people on that program & I am most definitely the girl that if I just happened to fall in love with a guy that had Tourettes, I would have both of us rolling about laughing at his ticks rather than pretend to ignore them (honesty is the best policy after all) just like that amazing couple on the program that happened to find each other through the dating agency.....on his initial meeting with the woman that ran the agency & organised the match-making, they planned to meet in a crowded beer garden & as she approached him, he shouted "She's a squirter" at the top of his voice, every1 turned round to look at the unsuspecting woman labelled "The Squirter" as she casually sat down & introduced herself, not as a squirter funnily enough!

'The previous' also had a realisation this week..........
Oh well son......

Lets talk beauty!
So as promised, this weeks blog will be dedicated to removing acne scarring & pigmentation marks. People with skin sensitivity should shy away from Microdermabrasion, acid peels or any treatment that is too evasive & as previously mentioned, my stint with Roaccutane means I have thinned & sensitive skin so I cannot have any peels of any description. To be perfectly honest, Microdermabrasion doesn't actually work in my opinion....I've personally never heard of any success stories & any decent beautician I've spoken to on the subject, doesn't rate it much at all.
If I have a breakout which leaves behind any marking on my skin, I have to use certain methods of home remedy removal that don't involve peeling away layers of skin......& I've became quite at dab hand at it I must say! Big hit for myself.....high 5 Leah, you're unreal!

First method:
Take a tomato & a chunk of cucumber & blitz them together into a pulp.......
once you have achieved the desired consistency, apply it to the face on the scarring/pigmentation marks & leave on for 10-15 minutes. Extremely easy treatment to prepare & everyone has tomato & cucumber in the house don't they? Easy!

Second Method:
1 tea cup of water, 1/2 tea cup of oatmeal, 2 drops of lemon juice & 1 teaspoon of cinnamon powder.
Boil the water in a pot to a mild heat, add the oatmeal & lemon juice. Leave it to cool slightly before adding the cinnamon then apply to your face.
Please note, this method is slightly messy & looks quite unsightly. I do have a picture of this on my face actually, but 1 of my friends has categorically denied me from posting it.......I'll be forever on the shelf seemingly! Leave this concoction on for 20 minutes & relax while it takes effect.

Third method:
1 Teaspoon Cinnamon, 1 Teaspoon Nutmeg, 1 Teaspoon honey & 3 drops of lemon juice.
Work mixture into a paste & apply to marks for 20-30 minutes.

Now all these remedies use ingredients that are easily accessible. If you don't mind slapping it on your face & chilling out infront of the TV, then you're onto a winner!
I use all 3 of these methods & rotate them on a week to week basis.
If you have dark circles around your eyes, boil the kettle, put 2 teabags in a cup, leave the teabags in the boiling water for 5 minutes, strain all the water from them & place them in the fridge for 5 minutes to 1 over each eye & chill out like a mother f*cker while 1 of the masks above is working wonders on your face- kill 2 birds with 1 stone! Us ladies love to multi-task after all!
Use the teabag method on your eyes twice a week for maximum effect & banish those unsightly dark circles for good!

Next week I'll be discussing whips & chains, gimp masks & lubrication.....or maybe I'll just discuss hair!

Lova ya!

© Leah Shevlin and Leah Shevlin The Facts Not The Fiction, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.

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